Scott Douglas Jacobsen: Another important part of or side of life together with someone, apart from the idealism, is practical application, simply the enjoyable to the modestly annoying activities of life, e.g., chores to fresh clothes, plain steamed broccoli in a random shack to a spicy roast beef sandwich at Wolfie’s Miami Beach, kale to peanut butter & jelly sandwich, black licorice and hard candy to chocolate fudge cake and Entenmann’s chocolate fudge, or a trip to the dentist to a trip to the beach. The little things, what comes to mind when you think about the little things in a life with a partner?
Mr. Christian Sorensen: She is like king Midas, because everything she touches turns into gold, I always tell her that with her hands she works wonders. For everything, seeks balance and ideal harmony. Though I have never been able to understand, why tends to place all things on the edge of surfaces, I think she does so, because knows how to balance them so they don’t fall off. Has the creativity, to repair everything, and transform it into something optimal. Permanently, orders my mess, but after, I never can’t find anything when I look for it back. Believes we are like Pinky and the Brain. Generally, while I take things very seriously, on the other hand, she reduces the gravity out of them, in order to make me relax. She takes her time for everything, and has an infinite patience, which sometimes makes me nervous. Always, acts very calmly, while I habitually run the engine, with past revs. Says that I walk at a speed, that is impossible for anyone to follow. According to her, normally people reason differently from me, for that motif, they do not give so much importance to things, and which it’s worse, they are not prepared to hear the truth that comes out of my mouth. She has never wanted to change my way of being, although patiently suggests, that I should be more empathetic and understanding, with the rest of humanity, regarding the fact of having ten brains in the same head, and since proportionally speaking, normal people are to me, as they’re in relation to those with mental retardation. I have always said, that she came to this life, for helping the world, but particularly, to correct and help me in order to be a better person. Despite all the atrocities, that has had to live, and of never having received any real and effective help, from human rights and feminist organizations, which apparently only provides assistance to non-Jewish nor Israeli women, matter of which, she’s deeply disappointed, even though has being, a staunch defender of human and women’s rights, I believe is the most resilient person that exists.
Mrs. Sorensen: Here there’s a perfect balance, because he eats and I cook. I do everything, and he writes. He is obsessive and messy at the same time, but has an orderly disorder. Hates getting up early, and goes to bed very late writing. Though uses to talk while sleeping about what he writes, and rests intermittently a couple of hours, awakes recovered as if had slept for hours. Usually he stares into space, and solves mathematical equations, that no one could solve for months or maybe never. Has an extraordinary love and patience with animals, though not with people, since does not resist, that they do not think logically, in front of rationally obvious questions. Believes that everyone can ride at the speed of a Ferrari, while does not realize that humanity travels at the speed of a Vespa. Dresses only in black t-shirts, jeans and sneakers. For everything, he is minimalist, which indeed is a question, that I myself, have learned to apply, because I find, that this is an example, of how he makes a logical and rational sense, for everything. He is an hypochondriac, does not like doctors, nor tolerates confined places or crowds, even though dislikes to be alone. He loves to be outdoors and in contact with nature. Anything someone says, is going to be deeply and semantically processed, in his head, until it is completely shredded, and as if it were an alchemy formula, will appear like an outcome, completely exhausted of meaning, and reduced to the minimal expression of something, An example of the last, was once, when we were dating, and we were walking to eat sushi: he gave a two-hour conference, for explaining me the difference, that exists, between simply loving and truly loving someone. For him, there is only a yes or a no as answer. Never tolerates lukewarmness, nor forgives disloyalty. Always respects, the spaces of others. Above all, seeks the truth and does not bear injustice. He is absolutely convinced, that women are smarter and stronger than men, and that if G_d had gender, he would surely be a woman. For me it is impossible to get bored, because I am always learning new and exciting things from him.
Jacobsen: What are the enjoyable little things a partner should do, in a marriage – both?
Mr. Sorensen: I think, that to be able to guess small details, that she may like or cheer her up, and give them to her as a surprise.
Mrs. Sorensen: The fact of sharing daily activities, with a positive and collaborative disposition, while enjoying each other’s personal achievements.
Jacobsen: What are the annoying little things a partner should avoid, in a marriage – both?
Mr. Sorensen: The fact of not maintaining her order and cleanliness. Not respecting her times and rushing her. Telling things too directly and realistically. Not understanding her language, that’s less analytical and digital, and more analog and creative.
Mrs. Sorensen: It’s important to avoid wondering around with a daily negative predisposition, that leads to getting angry about everything, and thereby breaking the harmony of the home. I shouldn’t interrupt him when he writes, but that is difficult for me to do, since I like to talk to him.
Jacobsen: What are some prototypically husband must-haves in a marriage, the non-negotiables?
Mr. Sorensen: He should always love and protect her, promoting at all times, its development and integral personal self-realization.
Mrs. Sorensen: Fidelity in all its senses, and that I can fully trust him. That he loves me, at the same time that understands my feelings, and supports by being a confident and counselor, all my projects throughout life. That he makes me laugh, with his black and ironic sense of humor.
Jacobsen: What are some prototypically wife must-haves in a marriage, the non-negotiables?
Mr. Sorensen: An absolute unconditionality.
Mrs. Sorensen: A woman, regarding her husband, should have love and always be faithful in every way with him. Contribute and be patient, with a good dose of humor, to the construction of marriage.
Jacobsen: What are some prototypically husband nice-to-haves in a marriage, the negotiables?
Mr. Sorensen: I think that to have the ability to make boring jokes, that is necessary to explain, so that they understand them, and to have a good rhythm for dancing and doing the clown.
Mrs. Sorensen: That every day he is thorough, by having the capacity to surprise me, and to make me happy with simple things.
Jacobsen: What are some prototypically wife nice-to-haves in a marriage, the negotiables?
Mr. Sorensen: Personally and figuratively, I consider pleasurable, for a woman to be estrogenic, and to smell like feminine pheromones, and not something else. In other words, that she assumes herself, in my opinion, for what symbolically she is.
Mrs. Sorensen: When the husband is an epicurean, to know how to prepare his favorite dish, deliciously. This always leaves him with a smile, and it makes his day.
Jacobsen: Mr. Sorensen, what do you find men complain and compliment most about in their wives to their guy friends?
Mr. Sorensen: Generally, men of my age, suffer from what I denominate as fifteen-year-old regression, which leads them to talk, more about their new conquests with adolescent women, than about their wifes, and where megalopotent feats and compensatory resources, such as sildenafil and vehicles of high end, play a preponderant role.
Jacobsen: Mrs. Sorensen, what do you find women complain and compliment most about in their husbands to their gal friends?
Mrs. Sorensen: In my particular case, I have never talked about my husband with my gal friends, nor would I. However, from them, the most frequent complaint I have heard, is that they feel suffocated with their husbands, since they do not give them enough space. Generally they claim to be happy, when he is not at home, or when they do not have to go on vacation together. Some, despite being feminists, complain because their men, do not give them enough money for their personal expenses, to which I usually reply, that if they are so feminist, they should be then more consistent, and spend their own money. Usually when they praise their husbands, they never do it regarding sentimental matters, but only to show off the gifts and comforts, given by them.
Jacobsen: Thank you for the opportunity and your time, Mrs. and Mr. Sorensen.
Mr. Sorensen: Quite so!
Mrs. Sorensen: Thanks to you, for such a pleasant interview, we have laughed a lot answering it.
Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash
Image Credit: Christian Sorensen.